mardy zombies - jo whiley

There's nowt more borin' than other peoples dreams,
but i feel it's important that i recount to you my thoughts
when i awoke at 4.43a.m on the eleventy twelfth of octember noughty noughty.

I spotted a hobbledehoy rampant and bullywatched, her freakish nipples sat oddly akimbo.
The finger in her eye was directed at me so don't say i've got a pointy view.
"i'm sorry," she said "but i wont apologise, 'cause women are the new men."
So why don't they shave the top of their heads and leave a bit at either side?
Hmm? Eh? I wonder

Umdiddyvomivoo ummannapannamoo wokachokachung

I said free your mind and not your shoe-size. It's another scratch 'n' sniff weekend.
Sobriety, it's the price of life, a Life in a sandwich...bored.
Cotton warp with worsted weft, it's the feel of old orleans.
Chips incredible lost in a box unlimited everything £7 a week.

Umdiddyvomivoo

Anglo saxual boneless bananas, delicately lacy and daringly plungey.
Laxative bakery sells me goughnuts, that's goughnuts, not doughnuts.
I were up to me eyes in political vudge, scratching & scrape but it still won't budge.
Wind 'er up an' led 'er fly. She'll pirouette but she'll tumble dry.

Umdiddyvomivoo

Aw, that poor poor man, he was haunted by his pasty, smoke my design upon he.
Sifting aloof both dryly and upper but all good things are partially bad.
Laying on a beach, sucking her peach, enforced application of an oversize leech.
She said "tozer: klatu birada nikto, tozer: klatu birada nikto"

Umdiddyvomivoo ummannapannamoo

...and she said
Flatten ev'ry cap, catten any flap.
They told me it's crap to rat on a trap while taking a nap
or taking the piss while sniffing at these and staring at tats and staring at tits in vests an' that.
A foul and a miss or fouling a ms.
Or fooling a copper who once came a cropper, he fell off his chopper
like dennis hopper, while a bald man in orange consults his grasshopper wearing frankenspice boots.
'Cause that's what girl power's all about, right geri?
D'you know, i once knew a girl named geli harriwell.
She said, with a name like that she wouldn't do very well.
So she rearranged the letters playing scrabble one day and came up with geri halliwell.
But i prefer that girl i once knew called geli hariwell oh no.

Umdiddyvomivoo ummannapannamoo

If i were you, i'd get a t.v license before someone else does.
Easy to use, easy to scratch. Eating fish babies and other pursuits, upper class knicker zone riffs.
I've got 18 you-know-whats to you-know-what you with, so hairy... It's very, very scary.
Wax accident stumps are us while a blacktoff-jetti sleeps.

Less is more, not one month later more is less.
Down south they bimble in cuneiform, that's wedge shaped to you or me.
Morphine vocalist throws a cooper while my guitarist gently seeps.
Hasty mobile live and let rip wash powder adnausium sling.

Quoth the redwing "jenny tailior", that's a girl i used to know.
She had hot stodgey and applied psychosis. Pith bitter, but inside niiice.
Turdus musicus paradise cup, an a 4 disaster recipe.
Oh, i'd buy that for a dollar. I'd buy that for a pound.
I'd buy that for a hard ecu. Twice as bluu as yuu (on our holiday in east kilbride, it were luvley).

An open texture, now what can it mean? Thick thog she blankets my duvet.
Swellabanella else maybe a swetneck,
Parideenumnum or birdieyumyum.
Return to churnton on planet cider.
Yes, it exists but i don't know where it is.
Sweaty woman's --- we're out of milk.
Oh, sweaty woman's --- we're out of milk.
--- --- tits we're out of milk again.
Oh no. Blast!

Umdiddyvomivoo

Diminutive clairvoyant abounds, leaving footprints in the marge.
A welly putter in me butter, she's wading through the clutter, it's a small medium at large.
Baskwik nadgery audio prisoner trapped inside my ears.
Let's join loins & do the dance of the dirty, burlington bertie 100 to 30.

Exploding letter from a credit agent poots forth its purple powder.
Alerts your friends your not to be trusted ever again.
Annie lee, the original shaker, she turned the world tits up.
She said "the beauty you see to us is absurd..." she was seldom seen in mfi.

Umdiddyvomivoo

But the past, it holds little hope for future reference library books.
With fashion legs for the sale of access at what point do they stop?
The adventures of ivory cutlery!
Britney smears attacked him with a knife.
Of course he only suffered superficial wounds 'cause that's the kind of girl she is.

Naked burglar with a vaseline sheen to this day he's not been caught.
If they did they'd take away his pep pill privilege -
Con minus pro plus.
Two big dogs, one bigger than the other.
Big dig & bigger digger dogs. It be big dig & bigger digger big dig & bigger digger big dig & bigger digger dogs. Big dig & bigger digger big dig & bigger digger big dig & bigger dig dogs.

umdiddyvomivoo ummannapannamoo

...and she said shoot from the lip, from frottage to grip,
Drink with a sip, projectile with gip.
Wiggle the hip, to the top of the tip come up on a trip, a full beamer on dip.
Smoke yer last blip, persuade to let rip, try not to trip in a factory skip or you'll come a cropper
like me mate dennis chopper,
he fell in an 'opper at a spare parts farm. Aw, poor dennis.
I went spare parts farmin', i put my arm in and two came out.
I went spare parts farmin', i put one leg in and three came out.
It was buy one, get one free that week, sadly the offer was on lower limbs only.

It was an evening of romance, spare parts farming.
My liver sits porky with anticipation.
Drop yer car keys down me gruds and gasp at the flavour illusion.
Technical spillage on synthetic boarders.
Take the golden media shower.
Addicted to 'dino's paradise crabs' your lips can't loose - 'guaranteed'.

Pricked into a luscious fluffiness. Is it giro day?
Chicken shaped ornamental cabbage baby, chicken shaped ornamental cabbage
i once knew a girl who 'shook her lettuce'. (ooph!)
Beware plexious the labeon head giver.
Spongo spongo it has to be said.
25 unforgivable maladies. Stolen ego, hairy with love.

Bernard palmer resident associate says "keep out the under 40's".
While the music sausage goes cello wrestling but at what point does fruit die?
You can't please 'em all so fuck the lot of 'em.
He looked her up and then he eiderdown.
If wearing a jumper would make me sheepish, take me to cardigan bay.

Chalky darts and oily parts, it's the dance of the sensuous snail.
So ride on the back of a vegetarian and worship the devilled steak.
Charging along like groops in a whirlwind,
Pressure on schoolwork ("ged it done").
Pigeon religion, fun with rubbers.
Erase her mammories from my mind. Erase my mind from her mammories,
You mucky bugger.

Umdiddyvomivoo

"i was singing that in baghdad when you were in your dads bag" daft paul once said to me.
But a problem shared is a problem squared, so let's raise the standard lamp.
Apparattus norvegicus, tools of the rats. I am the potato overlord.
The Future's nearly here but it's not orange.
Saw your own arm off twice.

If a kangaroo can then what of the shiatsu?
Damply enjoyment la femme petomane.
I went for the post of chicken hypnotist, you can guess the outcome...
It's been a sleek week yet i remain oblique 'cause where there's muck there's wimmin.
Norris, ross, hugo boss, he's a fashion smelling record breaker.
Now that's what I call dedication.

Umdiddyvomivoo

(but on yer way home you can have) sosidge, bins und chippings.
October 10th we were chutnified on corporate tools and consummate fools.
What's that smell? Ooh, it's fish wind.
Furry antlings better bitter butter batter voluminous mephorian beaver reliever umbilical chord book bex fears milk, so show us yer tickle tickets.

Clunge puppet reads the book of the dead sexy.
Are they real or is it mamorex?
I jump up and down but between you and me my body is a temple of doom.
E-coli warriors with avant guard dogs. Velvet arousal through fashion batter.
Dressing up as a lady, feels so wrong it can't be right.

The language of meat, it baffles my egg-wife.
Twiggy can't do chat: it's official! Watter monkeys, gorilla drilla.
'Kinell kan 'e kanoodle. Parrots on prozac prevents feather pluckage.

Comfy custard on tidgy puds.
Gravy booby rattle rattle jewellery jewellery prattle prattle jewellery jewellery now then now then, poor old j.a got busted.

It was a trappist monkees crappest month.
D'ya like my harmonica lewinski?
Sticky bandits in a world of shoes but even vincent had his price.
Lose control freak brothers.
Candid footage of rogue scouts bends my heart through levels of grimness and the fear of a
jo whiley moment…

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